To a Cake-Free Birthday (and Bikinis)!

I celebrated a birthday this week, and this is the second year I have forgone the birthday cake. And lookie there, I survived! So here is to cake-free birthdays! The night before the kids took me out to dinner at Maggiannos. I got the Chicken Ramano and substituted the pasta it came with for Broccolini and shared a beer with the Husband. I did sneak a few bits of the bread, but not even half a piece. The next day the kids woke me up with a spa appointment (my favorite thing!), a babysitter for half the day (my other favorite thing!) and a new temperature station (I NEED to know the weather outside BEFORE I got outside. The Husband thinks this is weird, yet still bought me a new one). Then the Husband and I spent an evening in Palo Alto on University Ave just across from Stanford. We had dinner at a Cajun restaurant (where I ordered my first cocktail in maybe a year, and hated it) and then had a French Press of decaf with cream at another place. It was so beautiful and relaxed, a really nice evening.

I am determined to concentrate on the positive and let go of the negative. I have "Worry Wart" stamped on my forehead, it is that obvious if you know me. But I see that reflected in my oldest son, and see now how pointless it is. Author Eckhart Tolle really helped me see this in myself and I'm working on it. It is getting easier with age though. But I do have worries, stuff going on that I dont' want to air out on the world wide interwebs. Some of it I have no control over, it is just this economy and we need to make the best of it. Other things I do have control over, but I'm fearful of the solutions (I need to get over that). But they are all things I can live with, and I'm learning to be okay with all that!

So anyways, this is Amber at 42. I'm figuring stuff out and learning to like myself. I'm learning to solve my problems and live with the solutions and decisions I make. You might look at my before/after here and be disgusted. I am scared, to tears nearly, to post these photos, both of them. I'm not pretending to be perfect, or done. I am a work in progress. I'm not going to point out the spots that really need some work, or mention I only wear this suit in my backyard with only immediate family. But I'm posting it for a few people who might be motivated by my journey. For a few people out there, who think it's not possible to change their lives or their bodies. Because it is possible. Because I did it. And I survived.