Friday, August 27, 2010
It all started when I had the cake made and decorated, the food all ready for the BBQ. I went to get dressed and my shorts, size 14 didn't fit. I hadn't worn shorts all summer and I thought, maybe they accidentily were washed in hot water. So I pulled out the other pair of size 14 shorts and they were to tight too. I was confused, because there is no way both could have shrunk (yes, I really thought that was what happened!) and mad because I had nothing else nice for the party that you could wear around the pool. So I kept on the lesser offensive of the tight shorts and picked a blousy top that I hoped would just cover it all up. But the top just clung to the muffin top the shorts had created. I remember being hot and sweaty, and mad. Really mad.
The next morning, I was still mad and I weighed for the first time in a long time. My weight was 196, more than I had ever weighed (except pregnant, I got into the 200s). 184 was my "usual" weight when it was high, so this was something really new.
I remember that day, how I felt. It took me two months to find a plan that I thought sounded right. But before that, I felt desperate and sad. I remember thinking I needed to make a conscience decision, do I do something about this or do I just let go? Do I stop this train and turn it around, or do I just keep on down this track? I remember thinking, I want to change, I want to lose weight, but I just don't know how. My eating habits aren't THAT bad, after all!
I knew I had a problem with sugar and uncontrollable cravings that had nothing to do with being full or hungry. I knew I could eat a bottomless amount of carbs (=chips) and still not feel satisfied. I knew I got cranky between meals and skipped them all the time. Only to overeat when I did finally sit down and eat. I barely recognized my face in the mirror anymore, it was so puffy now. I knew I didn't want to do Weight Watchers or Atkins again. I started looking for a diabetics or low glycemic diet plan. I took my time finding a plan that really addressed sugar cravings. I also made an appointment with my Doctor, went in and said "Hey, I'm fat and I want to fix it. Please help me."
So along with celebrating my baby growing up (he just started 1st grade!), I can also celebrate a little more. I have learned so much in the last year. So much about food, sugar, hunger, cravings and most importantly about myself. I am so thankful today to have found Jorge Cruise and his Belly Fat Cure. So thankful I decided to fight for my health and my body, instead of just giving up. It would have been so easy, after all....
ps. This year I'm wearing a bathing suit to my son's birthday party... and all my shorts fit!
What was your turning a point? Was there an event that made you want to change, I'd love to hear about it!
Labels: one year